Pagalpanti ki Hadh – Funny Story
Sharma ji ki colony mein koi normal din nahi hota tha. Kuch na kuch hungama zaroor hota. Ek taraf unke padosi Chaubey ji the jo hamesha apni biwi se darte the, doosri taraf Tripathi ji the jo apne aap ko colony ka don samajhte the.
Lekin is colony ki jaan the Lallu aur uske tehelka machane wale dost – Tinku, Pinku aur Montu. Chaaro dost milkar aisi-aisi harkatein karte the ki poori colony ke pet mein dard ho jata tha hans-hans ke.
Ek din subah-subah Chaubey ji apne balcony mein chai pee rahe the. Tabhi unhone dekha ki Lallu apni scooter se nikla aur usne apni jeb se ek lipstick nikala. Lipstick ko dekh ke Chaubey ji chaunk gaye.
“Arre ye ladka lipstick kyu laga raha hai?” Chaubey ji ne sochte hue apni chai ka cup neeche rakha aur nazdeek se dekhne lage.
Lallu ne lipstick nikali, aur ussey apni scooter ke tank par ek gol chakkar bana diya, phir usne apni t-shirt ke saamne bhi ek gol lipstick se laga di.
Chaubey ji samajh nahi paa rahe the ki ho kya raha hai. Unhone tabhi dekha ki Lallu phirse lipstick nikal ke apni peeth par kuch likha. Chaubey ji ko ab curiosity ho gayi aur woh neeche utar aaye.
“Arre beta Lallu, ye kya kar rahe ho?” Chaubey ji ne najdeek aake pucha.
Lallu ne muskurate hue kaha, “Chaubey uncle, aaj mera exam hai. Chemistry ka.”
“Toh ye lipstick se kya likha hai tumne?” Chaubey ji confused the.
“Uncle, main fail ho jaunga. Isliye ‘HIT ME’ likha hai. Agar main fail hua, toh koi bhi mujhe thok dega, insurance mil jayega,” Lallu hasne laga.
Chaubey ji bhi has pade, “Pagal ho kya? Chal hat! Kabhi dhang ka majak kiya kar!”
Lallu scooter par baitha aur bola, “Majak nahi uncle, strategy hai! Waise aap batao, Chachi ji kahan hai?”
“Teri chachi bazaar gayi hai, kyun?” Chaubey ji ne pucha.
“Acha hua, aap free ho! Uncle, wo jo aapke ghar ke saamne wali Shanti aunty hai na, unhe aapki yaad aa rahi thi,” Lallu ne kaan ke peeche khujlate hue kaha.
“Kyaa?!” Chaubey ji ki aankhen bahar aa gayi.
“Haan uncle, woh keh rahi thi ki aapke jaisa handsome aadmi poori colony mein koi nahi hai. Aap unse milne chale jao.” Lallu ne shararat bhare andaaz mein kaha.
Chaubey ji ne gardan ghumake idhar-udhar dekha, kahin unki biwi toh nahi sun rahi?
“Abe saale, meri bibi sunn legi toh mera kachcha dho degi! Bhaag yahan se,” Pagalpanti ki Hadh ho gai hai. unhone gusse se kaha.
“Uncle, toh issi baat par aapka kachcha dho doon?” Lallu ne zabardast hassi ke saath pucha aur scooter start kar di.
Chaubey ji chappaal utaarne hi wale the ki Lallu scooter start karke nikal gaya, “Arre ruk, tujhe toh main…”
Lallu college pahuncha toh dekha uske teen dost pehle se hi gate par khade the.
“Oye, exam ke liye late ho jayega! Kahan tha?” Tinku ne pucha.
Lallu ne bataya, “Arre Chaubey uncle ko thoda pareshaan kar raha tha. Tu janta hai na ki woh kitne darpok hain.”
“Arre chhod, exam ki taiyari hui?” Pinku, group ka sabse serious banda, ne pucha.
Montu ne Pinku ki peeth thapthapai, “Tu bhi na saale! Exam mein pehle hi fail ho jaate hain, phir supplementary dete hain, phir compartment dete hain… ye Lallu ka routine hai. Kyun tension leta hai?”
Chaaro dost hasne lage.
“Plan kya hai, Lallu bhai?” Tinku ne pucha.
“Yaar, paas ho jaana hai,” Lallu ne gambhirta se kaha.
“Achha?! Aaj suraj kahan se nikla?” Montu ne taana mara.
“Arre, Papa ne kaha hai ki ek baar aur fail hua toh meri scooter bech denge aur mujhe gaon bhej denge khet jotne,” Lallu ne bataya.
“Phir toh tension wali baat hai. Lekin tujhe kuch aata bhi hai ya Pagalpanti ki Hadh karni ati hai bus?” Tinku ne pucha.
“Arre chemistry ka exam hai, kuch formula yaad kar liye hain. Pinku, tune chits taiyar kar li?” Lallu ne Pinku ki taraf dekhte hue pucha.
“Haan, par abhi kuch problems hai,” Pinku ne kaha.
“Kya problem?” sabne ek saath pucha.
“Pehli baat, exams ke liye humara invigilator Mishra sir hain, jo ki eagle ki tarah nazar rakhte hain. Doosri baat, chits ko copy mein chipkane ka time nahi milega.”
Lallu ne sochte hue kaha, “Hmm, ek idea hai.”
“Kya?” teeno ne ek saath pucha.
“Chits ko sock mein rakho. Jab zaroorat pade, sock se nikalo, dekho, phirse sock mein daal do.”
Tinku muh par haath rakh ke hasne laga, “Mishra sir sock ki checking karenge kya? Waah bhai waah!”
“Nahi, sock nahi chalega. Mishra sir ne pichli baar Ramu ke sock se chit nikali thi,” Montu ne yaad dilaya.
Lallu ne socha phir bola, “Ek kaam karte hain, science ke tarike se cheating karte hain.”
“Matlab?” sabne hairani se pucha.
“Yaad hai, Chemistry Lab mein invisible ink banai thi humne? Wahi use karenge. Paper par invisible ink se answers likh denge. Jab zaroorat pade, toh lighter se garam karenge aur answers dikhai dene lagenge.”
“Pagal hai kya? Exam hall mein lighter? Pakde gaye toh rustication ho jayega!” Pinku chillaya.
Tabhi ghanti baji aur chaaro dost exam hall ki taraf daude.
Exam hall mein, Mishra sir ne sabko warning di, “Koi bhi cheating karta mila, toh seedha rustication!”. Kisi ne agar Pagalpanti ki phir wo Hadh say bahir ho gi.
Exam shuru hua. Lallu ko kuch bhi nahi aata tha. Usne desperate hoke apne left wale Pinku ki copy dekhne ki koshish ki.
“Psst… Pinku… thoda left kar na copy ko,” Lallu fisfisaya.
Pinku ne copy thodi left ki. Mishra sir idhar hi dekh rahe the.
“Lallu! Kya kar rahe ho?” Pagalpanti ki aik Hadh hoti hai. Mishra sir chillaye.
“Kuch nahi sir, bas pen neeche gir gaya tha,” Lallu ne jhukte hue kaha aur apna pen uthaya jo wahan tha hi nahi.
Mishra sir samajh gaye the ki kuch gadbad hai. Woh Lallu ke paas aaye aur uski mez par jhukte hue bole, “Dekho Lallu, tumhare Papa mere dost hain. Iss baar bhi pakde gaye toh bahut bura hoga.”
“Yes sir, sorry sir,” Lallu ne seedhe hote hue kaha.
Jaise hi Mishra sir aage badhe, Lallu ne relief ki saans li. Tabhi uska mobile vibrate hua. Usne dhire se pocket se nikala toh dekha ki Papa ka message tha: “Beta, dhyaan se exam do. Pass ho jao toh tumhare liye surprise hai.”
Lallu ne socha, jaroor nayi bike ka plan hai. Usne himmat jutayi aur apni yaad ki hui thodi bahut cheezein likhni shuru kar di.
Tabhi usne dekha ki uske saamne waali ladki Preeti apna paper bahut confidence se solve kar rahi thi. Lallu ko idea mila.
Usne apna answer sheet gira diya, aur jhuk kar uthate huye Preeti ki copy dekh li. “Ohoho! Saare answers! Bas 2 minute aur chahiye,” Lallu ne socha.
Lekin tabhi Preeti ne apna answer sheet palat diya aur Lallu ke taraf dekhke aankh maari.
“Main turant samajh gayi thi, Mr. Lallu. Aap cheating kar rahe ho,” usne dheeme se kaha.
Lallu sharma gaya, “Sorry Preeti, please kisi ko mat batana.”
“Ek shart par,” Preeti ne kaha.
“Kya shart?” Lallu ne nervous hoke pucha.
“Kal mere liye college canteen mein treat!” Preeti ne muskurate hue kaha.
“Done!” Lallu ne khushi se kaha.
“Aur haan, mere paper se cheating karne se kya fayda? Main khud fail ho jaungi,” Preeti ne kaha aur hasne lagi.
Lallu ka chehra utar gaya. “Kyaaa?!”
Exam khatam hua aur sab bahar aa gaye. Tinku, Pinku aur Montu intezaar kar rahe the.
“Kaisa gaya?” Tinku ne pucha.
“Bekaar. Preeti ke paper se cheating ki, aur usne bataya ki woh khud fail hone waali hai,” Lallu bola.
Sab hasne lage. “Tujhe laga ki Preeti topper hai? Woh toh humesha compartment deti hai,” Montu ne bataya.
“Ab kya karoon yaar? Papa gaon bhej denge,” Lallu udaas hoke bola.
“Chal, ice cream khate hain. Tension mat le, kuch na kuch jugaad ho jayega,” Tinku ne suggestion diya.
Chaaro dost ice cream parlor gaye. Wahan Tripathi ji apni biwi ke saath baithe the.
“Namaste Tripathi uncle,” charon ne ek saath kaha.
“Namaste beta log. Kya chal raha hai life mein?” Tripathi ji ne muskurate hue pucha.
“Kuch khaas nahi uncle, bas exams chal rahe hain,” Pinku ne jawab diya.
“Aur Lallu, tumhare Papa ka kya haal hai? Unki tabiyat theek hai ab?” Tripathi ji ne pucha.
“Papa? Unki tabiyat ko kya hua? Woh toh bilkul theek hain,” Lallu confused hogaya.
“Arre, tumne hi toh mujhe bataya tha ki tumhare Papa ko heart problem hai aur doctor ne kaha hai ki unhe tension nahi leni chahiye, isliye tum unko apne marks ke baare mein nahi batate,” Tripathi ji ne kaha.
Lallu ki jaan atki. Uski wife hairan hokar Lallu ko dekh rahi thi.
“Haanji… wo… actually…” Lallu heklane laga.
Tinku ne situation sambhali, “Uncle, actually uske Papa theek ho gaye ab. Doctor ne kaha unka heart ab ekdum strong hai, jitni tension chahe le sakte hain.”
Tripathi ji ki wife ne apne pati ko dekha, “Dekha! Maine kaha tha na ki ye ladka jhuth bol raha tha. Tumhe befkoof bana raha tha. Iski toh class teacher se baat karni padegi.”
“Nahi aunty, aisa kuch nahi hai,” Lallu ghabra gaya.
“Kyun beta? Kya baat hai?” Tripathi ji ke chehre par ab serious expression aa gaya.
“Actually uncle, main fail ho jata hoon har baar, aur Papa gussa ho jate hain. Isliye maine aapko thoda sa jhuth bola tha ki aap mere marks Principal ko na bataye,” Lallu ne sach ugal diya.
Tripathi ji hasne lage, “Arre pagal! Principal ko main kyun bataunga? Waise tumhare Papa ko pata hai ki tum kaise ho? Tum bi Pagalpanti ki Hadh cross kar jatay ho”
“Unhe lagta hai main serious student hoon, bas thoda weak hoon padhai mein,” Lallu ne kaha.
Sab hasne lage. Tripathi ji ki biwi bhi has padi.
“Chalo beta, ice cream khao. Aur haan, agli baar se thoda padh liya karo. Life mein aage badhna hai toh thodi mehnat toh karni padegi,” Tripathi ji ne samjhaaya.
Ghar pahunchte hi Lallu ne dekha ki uske Papa darwaze par khade the. Unke chehre par ajeeb si khushi thi.
“Aa gaye beta! Kaisa gaya exam?” Papa ne pucha.
“Theek tha Papa,” Lallu ne nervously kaha.
“Accha suno, tumhare liye ek surprise hai,” Papa khushi se bole.
“Kya Papa?” Lallu excited ho gaya. Uske dimaag mein bike ka khayaal aaya.
“Beta, humne tumhare liye rishta pakka kar diya hai! Tripathi ji ki bhanji Sweetie se! Woh B.Com topper hai!” Papa ne khushi se bataya.
Lallu ka chehra utar gaya. “KYAAA?! Papa, abhi toh main sirf 19 saal ka hoon!”
“Haan beta, par engagement abhi karenge, shaadi 2 saal baad. Tripathi ji ne kaha ki unki bhanji ko ek serious, padhai mein kamzor par hardworking ladka chahiye. Maine tumhara naam suggest kiya aur unhone haan kar di!” Papa ne bataya.
Lallu behosh hone wala tha. “Par Papa, main serious kahan hoon? Aur Tripathi uncle ne aisa kyun kaha? Unhe toh pata hai main kaisa hoon!”
“Pata hai beta, Tripathi ji ne hi kaha ki tum bahut intelligent ho, bas thode masti-khor ho,” Papa ne kaha.
Lallu samajh gaya ki Tripathi uncle ne usse sabak sikhane ke liye ye plan banaya hai.
“Papa, ek baat kahoon?” Lallu ne seriously pucha.
“Haan beta.”
“Main exams mein fail ho jaunga shayad,” Lallu ne dheere se kaha.
“Koi baat nahi beta. Tum mehnat kar rahe ho, bas results nahi aa rahe. Lekin chinta mat karo, Sweetie tumhe padha degi. Uski tuition classes bhi chalti hain,” Papa ne samjhaya.
Lallu ke muh se nikal gaya, “Hey Bhagwaan! Mujhe bachaao!”
Agle din college mein Lallu apne dosto ko saari kahaani suna raha tha.
“Yaar, ab kya karun? Tripathi uncle ne mujhe phasaya hai. Unki bhanji se meri engagement ho jayegi,” Lallu pareshaan tha.
“Sweetie? Matlab woh chashme waali Golu?” Tinku chaunka.
“Haan yaar, wohi,” Lallu ne sar pakad liya.
“Bhai, uska nickname Sweetie hai par woh hai Khatti! Poore college mein sabse strict ladki hai woh. Anti-ragging committee ki head hai, aur discipline committee ki secretary,” Montu ne bataya.
“Ab toh meri vaat lag gayi,” Lallu ro pada.
“Ek raasta hai bachne ka,” Pinku ne idea diya.
“Kya?” Lallu ne umeed se pucha.
“Padhai kar le aur topper ban ja. Phir tujhe dekhke Sweetie bhaag jayegi,” Pinku hansne laga.
Sab hasne lage par Lallu ke aankhon mein aansoo the.
“Doston… sach mein meri life khatam ho gayi hai,” Lallu rone laga.
Tabhi Preeti wahan se guzar rahi thi. “Kya hua Lallu? Ro kyun rahe ho?”
Lallu ne saari kahaani Preeti ko batayi.
“Toh problem kya hai? Sweetie meri best friend hai. Main tumhari setting karwa dungi,” Preeti ne kaha.
“Sacchi?” Lallu ki aankhon mein chamak aa gayi.
“Haan, lekin ek shart hai,” Preeti ne muskurate hue kaha.
“Kya?” Lallu ne pucha.
“Tumhe serious hona padega. Padhai karni padegi. Aur haan, mujhe tuition fees deni padegi,” Preeti ne shart rakhi.
“Done!” Lallu khushi se bola.
Tinku, Pinku aur Montu hasne lage. Montu bola, “Lagta hai Lallu ab sudhar jayega.”
“Waise, kal ki date hai na Preeti ke saath. Canteen mein treat deni hai,” Lallu ne yaad dilaya.
“Haan, bhool mat jana,” Preeti hasne lagi.
Lallu ne gandhi ji waala pose banaya, “Dil se shukriya, meri jaan bachaane ke liye.”
Sab zor-zor se hasne lage. Preeti bhi has padi.
Ek hafte baad, supplementary exam ke results aaye. Lallu ne top kiya! Poori colony mein jashn mana. Tripathi uncle hairan the, Chaubey uncle khush the, aur Papa ko yakeen nahi ho raha tha.
Papa ne Lallu se pucha, “Beta, ye chamatkar kaise hua?”
Lallu ne Preeti ki taraf ishara kiya, “Papa, inse miliye, meri tuition teacher Preeti. Inhone meri help ki.”
Papa Preeti se mile, “Beta, tumne toh kamal kar diya! Lallu ko top karwa diya!”
“Uncle, Lallu mein potential hai. Bas thoda direction chahiye tha,” Preeti ne muskurate hue kaha.
Papa khush hokar bole, “Beta Preeti, tum hamare ghar aaogi dinner par? Aur haan, Lallu ke saath engagement ki baat bhi karni hai.”
“PAPA!” Lallu sharma gaya.
“Kya? Lallu ne bataya nahi? Usne mujhse kaha ki woh tumse shaadi karna chahta hai,” Papa ne innocently kaha.
“KYAA?!” Preeti shocked ho gayi.
Lallu ke kaan laal ho gaye. “Papa, maine aisa kab kaha?”
“Beta, tum roz neend mein Preeti-Preeti bolte ho. Hume laga tumhari pasand hai,” Papa ne kaha.
“Lallu! Ye kya hai?” Preeti gusse se boli.
“Nahi Preeti, aisa kuch nahi hai. Papa mazak kar rahe hain,” Lallu ghabra gaya.
Papa hasne lage, “Haan beta, main toh bas Lallu ko pareshaan kar raha tha. Sweetie se engagement toh cancel ho gayi. Usko pata chala ki Lallu sudhar gaya hai, toh usne mana kar diya. Kehti hai ki usko toh masti-khor Lallu pasand tha, ye serious wala Lallu boring hai.”
Sab hasne lage. Lallu bhi has pada. “Papa, aap bhi na!”
“Par beta, ye Preeti kaun hai?” Papa ne seriously pucha.
“Papa, ye meri… meri…” Lallu heklane laga.
“Best friend,” Preeti ne jaldi se kaha.
“Accha? Toh phir tum dono roz park mein haath pakad ke kyun ghoomte ho?” Papa ne shararat se pucha.
“PAPA!” Lallu chilla pada.
Sab phirse hasne lage. Is baar Preeti bhi sharma gayi.
Is tarah Lallu, uske dost, aur poori colony ke log haste-khelte jindagi jeene lage. Kabhi Chaubey uncle ki daring, kabhi Tripathi uncle ki setting, aur kabhi Lallu ke naye-naye kisse… colony mein roz hassi ka hungama macha rehta tha!
Tou dosto kesi lagi Pagalpanti ki Hadh aik funny story. I hope achi lagi ho gi. Kya ap bi Pagalpanti ki Hadh say bahir nikal kar enjoy karaty hain? Comments me zarur btao. Aur mazeed aisi funny stories k liye The Pendu Production say juray rahain.
